North
by Cofkett
Summary: Expansion of the "Big News" Chapters from "How Many Ways to Say I Love You" and "Too Many Ways". You don't need to read those to understand this. Castle has some big news for Beckett: He's leaving for three months. How will this effect their relationship?
1. Preface

**I know that many of you, like me, use fanfiction to escape the real world, so if you don't want to read about dark, serious things that are going on right now, skip the author's notes and go straight to the preface. **

**I've been trying to keep things light and happy over the past week, but something has happened that is neither light nor happy and I finally decided I should say something. As someone who volunteers with young people with disadvantaged backgrounds I absolutely abhor violence against children - as everyone should. News of the terrible events in Connecticut have reached our shores. I'm aware that children die every day but no child's death should be dismissed - not when it can be prevented. I am aware that many of my followers are American and as hard as this news is to stomach for anyone with a drop of moral decency, it must be particularly difficult when something like this hits so close to home.  
This isn't about judgement, or pointing fingers. I think mostly I just want you to know that this horrible, deplorable thing happened to innocent people and I noticed.**

**Ok, now take a deep breath. I hope I haven't bummed you out too hard to enjoy this little sneak peek. For people who have read "Big News" this is nothing new, but, um... sorry.**

Beckett made an incoherent noise into her phone, still fast asleep.  
"Beckett," she managed drowsily.

"Kate," a gruff voice replied on the other end.

"Castle?" She checked the time: **02:03.**

She'd thought they'd figured this time-zone thing out.

"I'm sorry, I need sleep. I have work."

"I need you." His voice was desperate.

She knew what he was talking about and she wasn't exactly in the mood. "Castle, I'm sorry -" she started again.

"It's been two weeks, Kate."

She groaned. "Castle, you know I've been busy with these last couple of cases."

"I know. But I can't... take care of myself any-more without you."

Despite her grumpiness, he had caught her attention. "What do you mean, you _can't_?"

"Not without your voice."

'So, you haven't... for _two weeks_?"

"Every time I get close, I stop myself. I just can't bring myself to... _arrive _without you. It feels wrong, like I'm cheating on you. I haven't since we got together. Before this tour, I never needed to."

This should not be sweet. This should not be melting her heart. This should be creepy. It _was _creepy. And disturbing. And gross.

"Well, you have my permission to... _arrive _without me any time you want, as long as you don't bring anyone else with you."

"I don't want to without you."

"Well, it's either that or a cold shower. I'm not a twenty-four-hour sex hotline you can just call whenever you need to... lighten your load."

"I don't want a hotline. They don't participate. They don't know my body like you do. They don't know exactly what to say, and how to say it – and they definitely don't have your voice. That voice could melt stone."

"I'm not in the mood."

"Then why haven't you hung up on me?"

_Crap. _Truth was, she missed his voice. They hadn't really spoken much in the last few weeks, both being too busy; relying on letters, emails and tweets instead. So, she liked hearing it. She just didn't want to have phone sex.

Although, he was starting to test her resolve with his version of dirty talk. Really, it wasn't dirty at all. He liked using euphemisms and subtext. Well, they both did. It was kind of their thing. It was only natural it should spill over into their sex-life.

He also liked to be poetic, of course, playful with language. He _was_ a writer.

"_Because you're the one who's gonna pay the phone bill."_

"_Come on, Kate, don't you need me, too?"_

She sighed, "Don't."

"_Answer the question," _he commanded.

She wished she had the energy to chastise him for telling her what to do.

"Right now, all I need is sleep. I'm _really_ not in the mood for anything else."

"_So, you don't miss the way I used to touch you?"_

The way he said _used to, _offended her - as if that part of their relationship was over when really, it was taking a hiatus.

"I've got things handled in that department_."_

He let out a soft growl. "_Oh, I bet you have. I bet you're much better at meeting your needs than I ever was_."

There he went again. _Was. _Was he doing that deliberately?

"_After all, I'm just a man. What do I know about how to please you? I wouldn't know how to make you scream, or moan. What do I know about your body? What do I know about your skin? I wouldn't have the faintest clue about how soft or how hard you like to be touched, that little spot on your left collar-bone, or how to flick my tongue in just the right way - "_

_Damn him._ Her pulse increased, her breathing hitching,at the memories he was conjuring up of a very adept Castle who knew exactly how to please her.

"_What do I know about that look you get on your face when I rub circles on the back of your hand with my thumb? It's probably boredom."_

He really was trying to piss her off.

"Castle," she breathed.

"_I have no idea what I'm doing, Beckett. I don't even know how you can stand my hands on your breasts, my mouth covering your nipple."_

She bit lip to suppress a whimper.

"God, Castle."

"_You know how my mouth feels. Cold and dry. And my tongue probably feels like sandpaper."_

How was this turning her on? This made no sense. Very odd reverse psychology.

"_I'm a terrible lover, aren't I, Kate? You can't possibly get aroused by anything I say."_

Even as he said that, she could feel the damp warmth forming between her legs. She grabbed on to the sheets with her other hand.

"Damn it Castle," she growled.

She could hear the grin in his voice.

"_I know you don't want me to slowly slide my hand down to your panties."_

She had a sharp intake of breath.

"_Yeah, that's horrible, isn't it?" _he said, pretending to misread her reaction. " _I don't know how to touch a woman, let alone you. I'm a mess down there, aren't I? My thumb moves in all the wrong ways, my fingers fumble clumsily in all the wrong places. When you bite down on my shoulder it's because you want me to stop, right?"_

She couldn't take any more. Her hand released the sheets, slipping beneath her underwear.

_"I guess I'll just stop."_

_"_Don't you dare_," she hissed._

_"Detective, you couldn't possibly be touching yourself , could you?"_

""Don't stop talking," she demanded.

"_You're wish is my command,_" he said, all teasing leaving his voice, now dripping with pure lust. "_Do you have any idea how tightly wound I am_? _How badly I need to be inside you?"_

She pumped her fingers harder at his words, applying more pressure to her clit, moaning softly.

"_I missed you so badly, I can't think straight_.," he continued. "_I miss waking up next to you, bringing you coffee and bear-claws, distracting you from your paperwork_, _the way you stare at me when you think I'm not looking.  
"I have trouble paying attention to questions when I'm being interviewed. I'm vacant when people ask me for autographs. I'm distracted by the things we'd be doing together if I were there with you."_

Her breath caught as she rose higher and higher.  
"Oh, God, I miss you, too," she admitted. "I want you so badly right now." She felt a pang in her stomach as she voiced her feelings of longing.

_"How badly?"_

"Really badly," she husked. "Almost as bad as – _hmm _- when I didn't have you at all, when I thought I might never know what it was like to feel you against me, all of you."

His breathing had gotten laboured. It sounded as if he was panting, and she wondered how close he was to his own release.

"Castle?" she breathed.

There was a knock at the door.

She stilled in shock. After a moment, she took a deep, shaky breath.  
"That'd better be you, Castle."

_"What?"_

She jumped out of bed, removing her hand, definitely wide awake now. "I'm gonna jump whoever it is behind the door. If it isn't you, I'm gonna make you listen," she warned, running out of their room.

He sounded worried. "_Kate, seriously, that isn't me. I'm in London. Don't do anything rash. Remember how much I love you_."

"You'd better hope you're lying," she said before opening the door.


	2. Chapter One: Penguins

**Beta'd by Katrina.**

* * *

**North**_noun_

1. the direction along the meridian to the left of the position where the sun rises.

2. The cardinal point of the compass at 90 degrees to the left of east and opposite south. Also called magnetic north.

_Word Family_:**north**, _adjectice, adverb_

* * *

_Your "true north" cannot be redirected by external pressures... if you allow yourself to be pulled off_

_course, you're going to destroy your enterprise._

- Bill George

* * *

It was Richard Castle's job to convey false information. Of course, there was an implied understanding between himself and the reader that it was fiction; still, at it's most basic form, it was his job to lie convincingly, to tell a lie so good that people would believe it even though they knew it was a lie. Still, not everything he wrote was a lie. Real life had often influenced his work and like many writers, he used his lies to convey his own truths.

In working with the NYPD, he had become accustomed to discovering the truth. Once the truth was revealed, it was a simple matter of _conveying_ that truth. He was glad he was just a shadow, a consultant; that he didn't have to be the one to tell a father that his daughter had died; or inform a grieving widow that her husband had been unfaithful through their entire marriage; or a young man that his best friend had been the one to kill his girlfriend.

Tact wasn't something Castle had ever been very good at. Usually, he had a thought, he said it - without cushioning it. But now, as he stood outside the door of the loft he had shared with his fiancée` for just under a year now, he was trying desperately to find a way to convey a piece of news that wouldn't result in him ending up in critical care.

Ok, so, it wasn't the worst piece of news imaginable, no; but it was fairly lamentable.

Taking a deep breath, he opened the door.

Kate Beckett knew something was off the moment he entered. First of all, his meetings never ran this long. Secondly, he normally liked to make an entrance. This evening, he slipped quietly through the door with none of his usual swagger.

"Hey, you," she greeted him, putting her book down and rising to swing her arms around his neck.

"Hey," he replied vacantly.

"Long meeting?"

"Mm," he grunted, burying his face into the nape of her neck, smelling her hair.

Unable to suppress a smile at the way his lips felt against her skin, she nevertheless pressed him further.

"Castle."

"Mm."

"What happened?'

He emerged and sighed wearily.

"Maybe we should sit down."

Trying not to panic, she complied, sitting down on the couch.

"Big news," he said as he sat down next to her.

This didn't sound good. She braced herself for whatever he needed to tell her.

"_Black Pawn _wants me to do a Worldwide book tour."

She narrowed her eyebrows. "Ok." She stared at him, waiting for the catch.

"They really want to go all out for the last _Nikki Heat. _Hit every continent. As many interviews, book-signings, readings, panel discussions, you name it; as possible."

She still didn't get what the problem was.

"Is it gonna conflict with the wedding?"

"No."

"Honeymoon?"

"No."

"Then why - " Sudden realisation hit her and she thought she might know why he was so sullen. "How long?" she asked, mildly afraid of the answer.

He took a deep breath. "Three months."

Her eyes widened. "Three months?" she echoed.

He nodded solemnly.

"Well... what did you say?"

"I said, 'Absolutely not. This isn't the right time for me take three months out of my life to sell a book that sells itself. It's a _Nikki Heat _Novel,' I told them. 'It's a Richard Castle novel,' I told them. 'It's the last one in the series. It doesn't need the publicity.'"

"What did they say?"

"Not much. They just brought out this contract I signed agreeing to partake in any and all promotional activities related to books published by _Black Pawn _at the discretion of said publishers."

"Is there any way you can get out of it?"

" I called my attorney afterwards. He said he'd go over my contract in the morning but it doesn't look good."

She nodded slowly, digesting the information. "When?" she asked finally.

"Next month."

She felt as if she'd been kicked in the gut. "Next month?! That's way too short notice. Can they even do that?"

"Apparently, they can. They wanna get things moving pretty quickly."

She took a deep breath.

"Wow," she said softly. "I wish I could go with you but even if I wasn't saving my Vacation Days for the honeymoon, I don't have nearly enough to cover three months."

He gave a small smile that didn't reach his eyes. "I know."

She stared straight ahead, lost in thought, before turning back to him.

"Every continent?" she asked.

"Yeah."

"Even Antarctica?"

His lip curled.

"Especially Antarctica. I'm very big with the penguins."

She rolled her eyes.

"We'll probably have to put our wedding plans on hold 'til I get back," said Castle.

"Why would we have to do that?"

"Because I won't be here to plan with you."

"Sounds good to me."

"Hey, just because I won't be here doesn't give you the right to just take over. It's my wedding, too."

"But you've already had two weddings. This is the only one I'm gonna get. I should be able to choose what kind I want."

"Ok, fine, you can keep planning without me. But I'm still not getting married in the woods."

"Yeah, well, I'm still not getting married on top of the _Empire State Building._"

"Well, then, I challenge you to find a happy medium."

"I accept your challenge."

They shook on it, smiling, before the light mood wore off.

Beckett sighed, leaning into his shoulder.

"Three months," she said again.

"Three months," he confirmed.

There was a pause.

"Ok," she said finally. "We can handle three months."

"Oh, yeah, totally," said Castle.

"We'll have phone calls." said Beckett.

"Texts."

"Letters."

"E-mails."

"Skype."

"Tweets."

She almost laughed before looking up at him, her eyes searching his determined gaze.

"We can do this."

"We can totally do this," he agreed, squeezing her hand gently.

* * *

_One Month Later_

"Surrender, rebel!" Castle demanded from behind the couch.

"Never!" cried Alexis, leaping on top and shooting from above, delivering a fatal blow.

"AH!" screamed Castle, looking up at his daughter's triumphant gaze. "You may have won this round, young one, but the Omniverse still belongs to Voltar."

"Do not fool yourself, Voltarian. The rebels are one step closer to freedom, and there's nothing you can do to stop us?"

"Oh, no?" he asked, getting up and walking around the couch. "Not even... this?" he pulled her off, squealing, into his arms.

"Dad, put me down! I'll break your back."

"Yeah, you've probably got a point," he grunted, putting her down.

She looked up at him wistfully. "I'm gonna miss you, Dad."

"Me, too, sweetie."

They hugged.

* * *

"And when he was twelve," Martha continued, "he had this pet crow that he took everywhere - "

"Ok, that's enough childhood stories," said Castle. "It's late. I've got an early flight. It's time to go home."

"Ok, well... see ya, Castle," Javi said, giving him an awkward handshake.

"Oh, come on," said Lanie. "You're not gonna see the guy for three months!"

"Men don't hug," said Javi firmly.

"Well, I for one, am comfortable enough with my sexuality," said Ryan, giving Castle a quick hug, being quick to add a few, "I'm-not-gay" pats.

"Yeah, I know; I've seen the way you dress," said Javi.

"Have a safe trip," said Ryan, ignoring him, and he looked like he was trying to hold back tears.

"Don't forget to write," said Lanie, who was the next to put her arms around him.

"I won't," said Castle, returning her embrace warmly.

"Stay out of trouble," said Jenny, who was next.

"Oh, I don't know if that's possible for Castle," said Beckett.

"Don't forget me. I only carried you for nine months."

"Well, I'm just saving the best until last," said Castle, hugging his mother.

"Stay cool, Kiddo."

"I don't get it. Aren't you going home with her?" said Ryan.

"Uh... actually, I thought I'd stay the night at Beckett's place," he said awkwardly as he broke off his hug with his mother.

"Beckett's place?" Ryan repeated in confusion.

"Yeah, he bought her old building after she moved in with him so they could have somewhere to spend... quality time together without interruptions," Lanie explained.

"Smooth," said Javi.

"Man, I wish I was rich," said Ryan.

"Ok, come on, Castle," said Beckett.

"Bye everyone," he called back.

"Bye!" they all said in unison as he and his fiancée left the _Old Haunt _together.

They weren't all over each other. They rode the elevator up to her old apartment in silence, sharing the smallest hint of a smile. When they stepped through the door, she closing it behind her, they walked hand-in-hand to her bedroom. Their movements were slow and deliberate, both basking in each other's touch, spanning each other's skin, committing every corner to memory.

They made love three times that evening, each joining sweeter than the last. Afterwards, they lay wrapped up in each other, both sated and sleepy. Castle's eyes closed. Beckett watched him as he drifted of to sleep.

She had never told him she loved him. He told her all the time; she had agreed to move in with him, agreed to be his wife; but she still hadn't said those three little words.

She knew she didn't need to. He knew; he no longer doubted her. She also knew that she would eventually tell him, but not for the sake of saying it. When that day finally came, it would be the right moment; because she absolutely had to; because no other words would do. For now, this was enough.

Although, at this instant, she wondered if perhaps she should tell him, before he left. But then sleep took hold of her and there was no more thinking.


End file.
